you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
