He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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