I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
