we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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