dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
