what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
