Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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