You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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