Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
