Yo dont text me then not text me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
