hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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