Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
