This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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