morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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