I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
