I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
