so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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