David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
