I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
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