the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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