I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
