He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Randomize
