his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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