My balls are so social today.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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