one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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