its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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