I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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