Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
