Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
