ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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