Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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