how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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