WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
