I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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