Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
