i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
