8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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