Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
