ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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