I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
