if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
we should paint friendship bongs
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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