ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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