belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
