And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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