so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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