told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
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You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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