is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
