you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
two words...techno handjob
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
