I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize