omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize