I don't usually arrange sex via text message
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
