How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
