I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
