No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
