Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my being single is dangerous.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
