Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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