She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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