Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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