Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
