If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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