things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
