Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I smell stomach acid.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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