Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
