I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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