Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
