Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
