Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
