is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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