The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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